I am often perplexed, amused, and surprised by bicycle model names. Some totally make sense. Panasonic's vintage bikes increase in quality as they rise in model number. A DX-3000 is better than a DX-2000 but not as good as a DX-4000. Clear cut, right?
Bridgestone on the other hand usually numbers their bikes in the reverse order. An RB-1 is better than an RB-2. Yes, Bridgestone numbers their bikes in reverse order, but still an easy system to figure out.
From here things get strange. So, Fuji names some of its bikes "Team Fuji", "Club Fuji", and "League Fuji". I guess this makes more sense. Team sounds more serious than Club, and so it rightly indicates a higher level of bike. And league....well....is that lower than a Club? Well sure. Maybe I just don't know enough about racing teams, clubs, and leagues...or something. So anyways, even if this system makes sense, then why is the next bike up in their hierarchy an Opus III? What does that even mean? A work? Or work of art? And where is the Opus II and Opus I? Did they forget to make those? Does three just sound three times better than one? Sometimes there is a "Professional" at the top of the hierarchy. So, Professional? You're even better than the Opus III? I am impressed! Well, while Fuji is giving these peculiar names to their racing bikes, they are giving even stranger names to their recreational bikes.
An Espree? Royale? Del Rey? Supreme? Monterey? Berkeley? Which of these is the best? The Supreme? That makes the most sense, right? It is Supreme, that means nothing is better, right? But wait, there is a Del Rey. That means "Of the King". A bike "of the king" has to be pretty darn good! So which one is at the top of the hierarchy: the Supreme or Del Rey? Neither. The Royale! Didn't see that coming, did you? By the way, what the heck is an "Espree"? When I looked it up online I was told it was either German for "Pure and beautiful" or a misspelling of the word "Esprit" the French word for "spirit". Well, with the oh-so long and illustrious reputation for bicycle building that the Germans have, why wouldn't Fuji choose a German word? (sarcasm) And with how silly the French language is, why wouldn't Fuji simply anglicize the phonetic pronunciation of Esprit?
Then there is my beloved Univega. Every bike sounds like the best bike in their line-up. Maxima Sport? Whoa! that is the best one, right? It is called maxima, so there can't be anything better, right? Well, there is also the Supra Sport, which is better, supra or maxima? Both sound so darn good! But wait, there is also the Maxima Uno. That means the best one, doesn't it? Well, there is also the Specialissima and Super Special. Clearly the Super Special is better than the Supra, right? But the Specialissima means the "most special" so it must be even better, right? Well where do the Custom Maxima an Custom Ten fit into the line-up? They are custom, right? They should be the best, shouldn't they? By the way, in case you're wondering, the Specialissima is the best in Univega's line-up.
The coolest named bikes are usually the mountain bikes and BMXes. I don't know these bikes well, but I always see them on craiglist. Names like "Warp" and "Cobra" seem to really beat the snot out of "Varsity" and "Continental". "Rock Hopper" and "Stump Jumper" both sound cool and unstoppable....more unstoppable than, let's say, "Eurosport". I get the impression that there are some BMXes with some wacky names out there...like "Unabomber" or "Man killer" or something, but it is clear that those bikes have way cooler names than road bikes.
I would love to show up to a charity ride riding a road bike called a "Baby Masher" or "Disemboweler".